You will wake up one morning and not regret being alive, look into the mirror and not hate your features. You will wear your favourite clothes again, with a smile on your face still thinking if to eat pancakes or aloo ke parothe. You will step out of your home and smile when you feel the fresh air. You will enjoy your bike rides again, laugh till you cry, spoil your white t-shirt while eating your favourite ice cream, paint and have colors all over your face, dance on your jam with your fam, again. It will all happen again, maybe not today but someday you will have the strength and happiness and it’ll be beautiful.
I cried myself to sleep that night. Everything felt wrong. The thought of waking up next morning was a punishment. I wanted to end it all there. I thought of all the things happening to me, they didn’t seem okay. Nothing was okay. Nobody stayed. Everybody wondered what was up with me. Nobody stood by me. After all I wasn’t the same person they became friends with. I engrossed myself in things I thought I would never do. I felt alone in a room full of people. I felt pain that no words could describe. It became a habit to be alone. It became a habit to not be okay. I spent nights crying, silently. I’d cry with my mouth covered so that nobody could hear me. I’d cry in pain. I’d cry like I was dying. At the end of the day my tears were all I had. I realized it then, nobody stays. All I have is me. I can trust only me. Nobody cares about me like I do. I woke up feeling lighter. I did not expect anybody to be with me but my own self. I grew, I grew into a better me. I invested more time in me. It was about me for the first time and not about others. It was about what I wanted to do and not about what others wanted me to do. I was free from my own negativity. And did I cry after that? Oh no. I was free.
When you’re leaving a place you get this strange feeling you know, you start missing the people and the place even before you leave. The place and people have a great impact on you, so when you’re leaving you realize you’re not going to be the same person anymore. Not only will you miss the people you lived with but also the person you’re now. When you’re leaving you want to feel everything again for the last time. You want to go to your school for the last time, you want to meet every person you know for the last time, you want to go to your hangout spot for the last time, everything again, for the last time. Last times either bring happiness or sorrow. Last time to school is sad, last time to your hangout spot is sad, last time with your ex is happy (well, I guess), last time to the exam centre is – well, I don’t have to say :3. And when you are about to depart every step feels heavy, every embrace feels like all the goodbyes ever told to you coming back at you together. After you let go and walk away you feel an adrenaline rush, your heart sinks but you also know it’ll survive and swim back. You feel the zest of the beginning of a new adventure. It’s time for you to have a change in your life, it’s time for you to be a new person – a person better than you were yesterday. It’s time to leave. My friend, it’s time to start a new story.
It might seem like it’s not going to be okay, but it will. When you are going through something it seems unceasing, but there’s hope. There’s hope for everyone and everything. Hope helps us get through, it is the reason why so many of us are alive. When you feel hopeless, it’s time you start investing in things that don’t bring back disappointments. It’s time you invest your efforts into better things. Bad experiences only teach you what not to look for, the next time. So don’t fear and go ahead. It’s not the end, it is the beginning of a different kind of life. Oh, so you want to ride that? 😉 Go ahead! You want to get inked? Go ahead! Oh, you want to learn new stunts? Go for it! What is the worst that can happen? You might ‘only’ break a bone or two. Haha, kidding. Don’t, don’t try doing that. xD
That winged eyeliner, that 20$ mascara and those perfect eyes are not goals always, they’ve been smudged and spoiled at times. Those lips that wear perfect matt lipstick now, have felt dry and chapped when the rest of the face had wet tear drops everywhere. Every time she wiped her tears her blush would go away too. The actual beauty would grow dull each day, and it would only be covered with heavier layers of makeup each morning to show that everything was okay. The night face would intensely detest it’s own reflection. The fake layers of makeup would be back each morning, she would be goals but no one knew how dead she was beneath those layers. She saw her real dead face one evening and then it occurred to her what she had become. Her old self would have envied the present her. No, she did not want this. How did it all happen? The wave of change hit her and the deadness started to heal. It was done. She needed no fake layers to conceal her. She was there right before the mirror noticing herself and oh, did she love herself? Absolutely.
End of the year and it’s time for the “New year new me” posts flooding your Facebook and Instagram news feeds. Oh no! Well, it’s funny how we are enthusiastic about our new year resolutions in the beginning but by December we give up and are there, sitting on the couch. Sitting on the couch, munching Nachos with cheese sauce. What about that diet chart and workout routine? Still wasting time on cellphones, fighting with our partners because they liked someone’s dp, we don’t like. What about letting go of stupid people, wasn’t that one of your resolutions too? Oh, life is difficult isn’t it?
Well after giving up on resolutions, do you still think that you’re going to get anywhere in life? Do you still say you’d crack that exam? Pfft. Well, no. That ain’t going to happen. Some of us give up on dreams/resolutions because we look how far we’ve to go, not how far we have come. Some dreams are given up, some are crushed, some are not worked hard on. People who think that they’re going to get what they want without working hard are the ones that don’t know there’s always someone who is grinding that extra hour while they sleep/party. Irrespective of what comes our way, out of us, who make it through the problems and opposition are the ones that will be telling their struggle stories to the world and inspiring many others. Who do you want to be? A dreamer or a dreamer that ‘did not’ give up? Really, do not give up on dreams just because someone says you can’t. Someone’s comment should actually be one of the many reasons you accomplish.
After a phase of depression and trying to give up. I’m back on my blog. This page doesn’t reach a lot of people, it’s not as popular and i’ve been getting negative comments too. But if my posts help atleast one person be positive, I promise to post more often. Also, speak up about depression, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. xoxo
“Be happy for what you have while you work for what you want.”
That random feeling when you talk to someone and feel all happy. Someone who just lights up your face when they ping or call you up or meet. It’s like they seem more charming to you than what others think they do. No matter after how many days you talk to them you feel like you’ve been in touch since ages.
They make you feel good about yourself. These people are really rare, REALLY REALLY rare. I call them my Favorites. You need exactly these sort of people in your life. People who make you laugh when you don’t even want to smile. People don’t meet you by accident they’re meant to cross your path for a reason. We all need people who want to know every insignificant bit about you. People you feel love and care for, not always boyfriends/girlfriends but friends, rather soulmates. Life is too short to waste it on people who hate you or rather are jealous because they will never be what you’re, actually in a way that helps you gain confidence (if taken in the right sense) you would want to gain more of goodness in what you do. Now, these Favorites actually help you do so.
This post is for you all who have or are someone’s favorite to know how special you’re to them and what impact you have on their lives. Thanks to all the wonderful people I’ve met and most importantly people who stayed, knowing my flaws and also that I can kill them if they took away my dark chocolates. 🙂
The new year has just begun. We all will have so many new chances this year. We all as youngsters have hell many dreams. Let’s make this year THE turning point in our lives. Let’s do something that is remembered by the generations that are to come.
Most importantly, become a person that is loved and wanted by everyone. Make your dreams come true. Do something everyday. Be consistent. Work hard to make your dreams come closer to reality. Hard times are no excuse to quit. Yeah, all of us have their share of shit in life, tough times come and go.
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside- remember all the times you’ve felt the same way.”
This new year will bring new opportunities, new dreams, new people. New people because people change, also because old people turn out to be someone else, you need to let go. We’re getting too old to make people understand they’re wrong. Mingle with people who are interested in you and most important of all, people who will do anything to keep you in their lives.
“Go where you’re celebrated not tolerated.”
Love generously. Be there when someone needs you. When you hug someone, be the last one to let go, you never know how broken the other self is. Being cheated by someone you love, breaks you. Do not become that someone for the people in your life. Become the strong someone who lets go and work on improving your true self.
“Don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.”
Wait for new opportunities patiently. And work hard on them. Don’t let others discourage you.
“Don’t let someone dim your light, simply because it’s shining in their eyes.”
Don’t let a full stop come between or after your new start, just like the title. Become a role model for your kids. 😛
“It sounds cool when you think of telling your kids about the dreams that you had as a youngster. But it would be a proud moment when they see you become something that you had always dreamt of. Become a role model and not an incomplete dream that was never worked on to be completed”
Why care about someone else when you know how smexy you yourself are? They are just jealous of what you have, something they never will. Some people out here exist just to put everyone down. Now by being smexy i mean being someone who doesn’t care what really people think, you know someone who is bubbly, sensible, smart, fun loving. I know I know you can’t be everything all at once. But trust me all this will surely make you happier.
Bubbly, sensible, smart, fun loving, all these words remind me of my Dad. We all have bad days and then we hurt people close to us out of exasperation, unknowingly. I’ve done that to my Dad, I regret it later, a lot. But he never took anything to heart. He’s always been sportive. Maybe this is why, I admire him a lot. He’s been through a lot in his life. I here cry about my heartbreak but that’s nothing compared to what he’s been through. He’s one of the strongest person I’ve ever known to exist. Left his own house at the age of 25, just to create his own identity. Which he wouldn’t have if he had not left. He came from Allahabad to Pune, with my Mom. Having just 2000 bucks and 2 suitcases with him. No idea of what he would do and how he would do. A big city, with all people running with the same goal as my dad, creating their own identity. Dad is an engineer, but back then the interviewers didn’t see the qualification but the city Dad graduated from. Yeah Allahabad is a small town, so? the people from there become less hardworking than the people from big metropolitan cities? Dad faced rejections. Many, hell many. He still decided to stay back in Pune. It was like he had no other go. When he finally got a job, and everything seemed all nice, one day a contractor at the site insulted my Dad just because he came from Uttar Pradesh (Some so called “high class” people thought people from U.P. and Bihar are illiterates). Dad was asked to leave without a valid reason. It was my Dad’s hard work and my Maa’s love for him that changed our destiny. Hah those people who once insulted my Dad now come to him asking for jobs. Yeah, Karma is a bitch, a fair bitch. Dad has earned respect more than anything else. He’s my hero.
Papa I tried to make this birthday of yours very special. I hope I did. Papa here, I dedicate this post to you. You’re and always be my Handsome Chocolaty Hunk :3 you will always be the most good looking man I would ever have in my life. I feel proud being introduced as *your* daughter at the social events, I hope one day you feel as proud as i do when you will be introduced as Aishwarya’s Father, my Father.
Love you Papa. You’re the best.
Happy 45th birthday. 🙂
Judging is the new cool. No matter how nice we be to everyone, at some point we all tend to judge people around us. “Look at her hair, eww so frizzy!” (not everyone has the time to iron their hair every morning). “S/he looks so down market, look at his/her cheap clothes.” (not everyone has a rich dad). “S/he has glasses.” (yeah, so? that makes him/her an untouchable?) “S/he is a nerd!” (they’re good in academics, so? jealous?) “She has a lot of guy friends. SLUT!!!” (having guy friends makes her a slut? I don’t see how).
We all have friends who judge people and think they are the coolest. It’s better to leave them. They might start judging you too, someday. I’ve been judged a lot of times, it was because i was obese (i lost a little weight now 😛 ). I had nicknames like “Potato” “Fatty” (Friends still call me that sometimes 😛 ). Now, people who get judged have three choices
i.) Continue getting offended when someone comments on your appearance or whatever.
ii.) Look at it in a different way, smile or say something when people tell anything. That would make them shut up.
Choice (ii) sounds fun. Back answering is always fun 😀 but keep it in a limit, if it gets too much stop answering start ignoring. But don’t get offended that will encourage people and NEVER CRY, never in front of people who hurt you it makes them feel that they matter to you or they make any difference in your life.
Haters will hate. People who hurt will always hurt. They don’t deserve you, your attention or your emotions. Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you. Always remember this:
“There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can’t. What you’ve got to do is turn around and say Watch Me“
That’s pretty much it. All i would say is not everyone can be perfect but being the only one of a kind is Perfect.
Stay awesome. Stay smexy 😉