*I* might not be *your* priority anymore but know that my life will still go on. I’m going to be disheartened for a while but it’ll be okay. I might not be able to eat my favourite food or listen to my favourite songs because they were all your favourites but after a long time I’ll like things because they appeal me and not because of you. I might not wake up in the morning and get a text from you but know that I won’t be needing your messages, for I am enough for myself. I won’t be crying for you. No I won’t be waiting for you to come back. Yes I’ll have a life without you. Most importantly I’ll learn to love again, not you, someone else. I’ll have a million amazing and depressing moments but you won’t be a part of them. If we bump into each other and pass by like we never shared anything special, I know you’ll turn back to look at me but know that I won’t because *you* won’t be *my* priority anymore.
Years later when I meet you I do not want to regret not telling you everything I have always loved about you. I do not want to “think” of all the things we could have done, together. I do not want you to think that I did not try enough. So stay, please stay. I do not want to remember you as an incomplete memory. I do not want you to remember me as one, either. So let’s stay, forgetting the hurricanes in our lives and the fights that we do and look at each other remembering why we started. Let’s stay in this moment and realize that this is not the last thing that we want to remember about each other, this is not what we want to be buried with us on our last day. Stay. Just stay. Because years later, I do not want to bump into you, and stand there thinking, we had almost made it.
When we grow up, I might figure out something to do with my life and you will hopefully fulfill your dreams, I hope we cross paths again. I hope we don’t pass each other like strangers. I hope we pause and hug, like we used to. I hope that wouldn’t be it, I hope we let each other enter our worlds again, like we used to. I hope we do it all again, like we used to. I hope we both grow as individuals but I also hope we remain the same, like we used to. I hope you’re happy to see me again, because I definitely will be. But now, I’m a mess and you are too responsible. So I hope we meet again when I learn my responsibilities and you learn to live, and then these promises we left behind won’t be just words. Maybe time will mend it all and make it like it’s supposed to be. Maybe we’ll meet again, for the incomplete ending.
Let’s sit on rooftop at 2 am, confessing things that will stay only between us. Things that have been killing our insides. We’ll sit on rooftop with a beer bottle in our hands passing it to each other after every sip we take. Let’s vent out the bitterest emotions, the bitterest memories we’ve ever been through. I’ll listen to your story and you’ll listen to mine, without judgements without worries about tomorrow. Let me peep into your soul and discover the scars that remind you of your regretful past. Let me help you in fading them away. Let me replace them with kiss marks. Those kiss marks won’t become another regret, I promise. You will be all over me naked, emotively and let me discover ways to please you. You will pull off my mask and learn the real person I am. I’ll break walls and so will you, we’ll let our emotions make love while we lay next to each other drunk and snuggled up in a tiny blanket talking about the universe and all the stars it holds. Oh darling, stay up with me all night and tell me everything you’ve ever been scared to say.
She pulled him in her arms and felt his breath, looked into his eyes and got closer to them. They could hear each other’s heartbeat, could feel their breath calming. He felt her smooth skin under her shirt. She held his jaw line and kissed his lips. They kissed like they couldn’t get enough of their love. Her smooth hair tickled his cheek. He paused and smiled and kissed her again. They slipped themselves under the blanket, hugging each other. They made love, for the last time. He knew he was leaving her. She fell asleep in his arms. He slipped silently at the break of dawn. She woke up at the sound of a gunshot and understood he was gone. He was shot in the chest. He smiled and breathed for the last time. She ran towards the woods and saw him lying dead. Last night was the last night of love. She fell on her knees next to him, his dead body. She felt his half warm body, that was cuddled up in her arms last night. She was told he had to be shot. They couldn’t, after all, leave a criminal alive for too long. She was mistaken to be listening to the words spoken to her. He was soulless, so was she. They breathed their last breath together. It was over, they were gone.
The time you met him first, maybe you were already in love with some one else or maybe you did not believe in love at first sight or that click when you see someone so good. When you were busy day dreaming in classes he was busy dreaming about a life together with you. When you were crying about being ugly because none of your selfies came out well, he was looking at that one tagged picture of yours on Facebook and smiling because for him you’re beautiful. When you were seeing other guys who clearly weren’t good for you, he was jealous but made sure you weren’t in trouble because of him. Maybe you noticed him or full well knew he wanted you, you liked the attention and care. Maybe you took him for granted. When you were busy being you he was falling for you. “He” is that guy who intentionally/unintentionally never caught your attention. Maybe he’s used to being taken for granted. Maybe this time it’s not affecting him at all or maybe it’s eating him up inside. Maybe your trust has been broken a thousand times but this time you have met the right one. He is the one. He would take a bullet for you.
That random feeling when you talk to someone and feel all happy. Someone who just lights up your face when they ping or call you up or meet. It’s like they seem more charming to you than what others think they do. No matter after how many days you talk to them you feel like you’ve been in touch since ages.
They make you feel good about yourself. These people are really rare, REALLY REALLY rare. I call them my Favorites. You need exactly these sort of people in your life. People who make you laugh when you don’t even want to smile. People don’t meet you by accident they’re meant to cross your path for a reason. We all need people who want to know every insignificant bit about you. People you feel love and care for, not always boyfriends/girlfriends but friends, rather soulmates. Life is too short to waste it on people who hate you or rather are jealous because they will never be what you’re, actually in a way that helps you gain confidence (if taken in the right sense) you would want to gain more of goodness in what you do. Now, these Favorites actually help you do so.
This post is for you all who have or are someone’s favorite to know how special you’re to them and what impact you have on their lives. Thanks to all the wonderful people I’ve met and most importantly people who stayed, knowing my flaws and also that I can kill them if they took away my dark chocolates. 🙂