*I* might not be *your* priority anymore but know that my life will still go on. I’m going to be disheartened for a while but it’ll be okay. I might not be able to eat my favourite food or listen to my favourite songs because they were all your favourites but after a long time I’ll like things because they appeal me and not because of you. I might not wake up in the morning and get a text from you but know that I won’t be needing your messages, for I am enough for myself. I won’t be crying for you. No I won’t be waiting for you to come back. Yes I’ll have a life without you. Most importantly I’ll learn to love again, not you, someone else. I’ll have a million amazing and depressing moments but you won’t be a part of them. If we bump into each other and pass by like we never shared anything special, I know you’ll turn back to look at me but know that I won’t because *you* won’t be *my* priority anymore.
You will wake up one morning and not regret being alive, look into the mirror and not hate your features. You will wear your favourite clothes again, with a smile on your face still thinking if to eat pancakes or aloo ke parothe. You will step out of your home and smile when you feel the fresh air. You will enjoy your bike rides again, laugh till you cry, spoil your white t-shirt while eating your favourite ice cream, paint and have colors all over your face, dance on your jam with your fam, again. It will all happen again, maybe not today but someday you will have the strength and happiness and it’ll be beautiful.
Years later when I meet you I do not want to regret not telling you everything I have always loved about you. I do not want to “think” of all the things we could have done, together. I do not want you to think that I did not try enough. So stay, please stay. I do not want to remember you as an incomplete memory. I do not want you to remember me as one, either. So let’s stay, forgetting the hurricanes in our lives and the fights that we do and look at each other remembering why we started. Let’s stay in this moment and realize that this is not the last thing that we want to remember about each other, this is not what we want to be buried with us on our last day. Stay. Just stay. Because years later, I do not want to bump into you, and stand there thinking, we had almost made it.
When we grow up, I might figure out something to do with my life and you will hopefully fulfill your dreams, I hope we cross paths again. I hope we don’t pass each other like strangers. I hope we pause and hug, like we used to. I hope that wouldn’t be it, I hope we let each other enter our worlds again, like we used to. I hope we do it all again, like we used to. I hope we both grow as individuals but I also hope we remain the same, like we used to. I hope you’re happy to see me again, because I definitely will be. But now, I’m a mess and you are too responsible. So I hope we meet again when I learn my responsibilities and you learn to live, and then these promises we left behind won’t be just words. Maybe time will mend it all and make it like it’s supposed to be. Maybe we’ll meet again, for the incomplete ending.
Let’s sit on rooftop at 2 am, confessing things that will stay only between us. Things that have been killing our insides. We’ll sit on rooftop with a beer bottle in our hands passing it to each other after every sip we take. Let’s vent out the bitterest emotions, the bitterest memories we’ve ever been through. I’ll listen to your story and you’ll listen to mine, without judgements without worries about tomorrow. Let me peep into your soul and discover the scars that remind you of your regretful past. Let me help you in fading them away. Let me replace them with kiss marks. Those kiss marks won’t become another regret, I promise. You will be all over me naked, emotively and let me discover ways to please you. You will pull off my mask and learn the real person I am. I’ll break walls and so will you, we’ll let our emotions make love while we lay next to each other drunk and snuggled up in a tiny blanket talking about the universe and all the stars it holds. Oh darling, stay up with me all night and tell me everything you’ve ever been scared to say.
Puberty. Puberty, brings hope for all of us. For some it brings hope of becoming a bombshell, for some growing by a few inches to reach a decent height. But with hope, puberty also brings skin problems 😢. Here are a few homely remedies that will help you in your struggle.
1. How to deal with acne:
We all are aware of the benefits of Aloe Vera gel, you can make Aloe Vera gel at home too! All you need to do is take some Aloe Vera and slice it into half. Use a spoon or a knife to scrape out the colorless jelly into a bowl. Now blend it for 5 minutes and there you have your Aloe Vera gel ready!
Apply the gel on your face like you apply your moisturizer, except you need to wash it off when it dries.
2. Getting rid of blackheads:
Apply Aloe Vera gel as usual. When the gel dries, use a wet sponge to remove the blackheads.
3. Tata-byebye to chapped lips:
Applying a thick layer of lip balm or petroleum jelly before a hot shower helps the jelly penetrate into your skin properly. It will remove the dead skin layer and give you luscious lips. (Sounds seductive, I know 😂)
4. Short and thin eyelashes? Worry no more:
Apply petroleum jelly on your eyelashes with your fingers or an old (but clean) mascara wand before hitting the bed. This will help your eyelashes grow longer and thicker.
*But remember to wash it off the next morning.
5. Twice a week:
Choose a face pack that suits your skin type. I prefer the Himalaya Neem Face Pack. Use it twice a week and done! A good face pack will help prevent most of the skin problems.
These remedies will help you to an extent. Some might not work as per your expectations but one thing that will never disappoint you is Water. Drink lots of water. It will not give you instant results but it will help you in the longer run.
I cried myself to sleep that night. Everything felt wrong. The thought of waking up next morning was a punishment. I wanted to end it all there. I thought of all the things happening to me, they didn’t seem okay. Nothing was okay. Nobody stayed. Everybody wondered what was up with me. Nobody stood by me. After all I wasn’t the same person they became friends with. I engrossed myself in things I thought I would never do. I felt alone in a room full of people. I felt pain that no words could describe. It became a habit to be alone. It became a habit to not be okay. I spent nights crying, silently. I’d cry with my mouth covered so that nobody could hear me. I’d cry in pain. I’d cry like I was dying. At the end of the day my tears were all I had. I realized it then, nobody stays. All I have is me. I can trust only me. Nobody cares about me like I do. I woke up feeling lighter. I did not expect anybody to be with me but my own self. I grew, I grew into a better me. I invested more time in me. It was about me for the first time and not about others. It was about what I wanted to do and not about what others wanted me to do. I was free from my own negativity. And did I cry after that? Oh no. I was free.
When you’re leaving a place you get this strange feeling you know, you start missing the people and the place even before you leave. The place and people have a great impact on you, so when you’re leaving you realize you’re not going to be the same person anymore. Not only will you miss the people you lived with but also the person you’re now. When you’re leaving you want to feel everything again for the last time. You want to go to your school for the last time, you want to meet every person you know for the last time, you want to go to your hangout spot for the last time, everything again, for the last time. Last times either bring happiness or sorrow. Last time to school is sad, last time to your hangout spot is sad, last time to the exam centre is – well, I don’t have to say :3. And when you are about to depart every step feels heavy, every embrace feels like all the goodbyes ever told to you coming back at you together. After you let go and walk away you feel an adrenaline rush, your heart sinks but you also know it’ll survive and swim back. You feel the zest of the beginning of a new adventure. It’s time for you to have a change in your life, it’s time for you to be a new person – a person better than you were yesterday. It’s time to leave. My friend, it’s time to start a new story.
She pulled him in her arms and felt his breath, looked into his eyes and got closer to them. They could hear each other’s heartbeat, could feel their breath calming. He felt her smooth skin under her shirt. She held his jaw line and kissed his lips. They kissed like they couldn’t get enough of their love. Her smooth hair tickled his cheek. He paused and smiled and kissed her again. They slipped themselves under the blanket, hugging each other. They made love, for the last time. He knew he was leaving her. She fell asleep in his arms. He slipped silently at the break of dawn. She woke up at the sound of a gunshot and understood he was gone. He was shot in the chest. He smiled and breathed for the last time. She ran towards the woods and saw him lying dead. Last night was the last night of love. She fell on her knees next to him, his dead body. She felt his half warm body, that was cuddled up in her arms last night. She was told he had to be shot. They couldn’t, after all, leave a criminal alive for too long. She was mistaken to be listening to the words spoken to her. He was soulless, so was she. They breathed their last breath together. It was over, they were gone.